Winning at OUIJA

ouija board aka Scrabble's white trash cousin

ouija board aka Scrabble's white trash cousin

So, remember that time you and your friends broke out the ouija board and turned that mother out? Yeah, Me neither. 

But im sure you will agree that the OUIJA board definitely does have a universal aesthetic appeal to it. It's sImple with dry warming colors, a distinct visual balance and familiar layout, soft edges with a wicked type face. It's no wonder that it's the worlds most well known board game that everyone loves but isn't terribly interested in playing. 

Because while the board is an amazing piece of respected popular culture, the game itself is, well, kinda dumb. Dumb and annoyingly predictable. Every "game" takes the following course of play: Someone finds a OUIJA board in a box while looking for something else. If there is anyone in the immediate area at the time of the discovery it is then suggested that all those aware of the discovery gather around it and participate in a cooperative embrace of the ouija board's magical lameness. Eye's are then rolled, someone's tale of yore is shared, and begrudgingly... hands are brought upon the all important pointer thingy, and then whichever one of the participants is the one friend in your little group that always talks too damn much, will end up dragging everyone else hands around the board in an attempt to further annoy you in their newly discovered form of compulsory one-way self expression. At this point the game will flounder to a mutually unsatisfactory conclusion. There are no winners in the game of ouija.

But since (luckily) there was no-one around when i recently discovered a board while searching for an unrelated item, I decided to give it an unusual and yet refreshingly relevant role in the made for tv movie which is my life.

It turns out that this board makes a perfect desk slash keyboard slash mouse pad surface thing. By attaching a keyboard and touchpad to mr. ouija, he is now an attractive, unifying, strong portable surface that functions as well on the top of a desk, as it does on upon ones lap regardless of how deep into office-lounge-work-mode the day may take them. And luckily for us all, refashioning of such a device can be done quickly and with items anyone who might this a worthwile device, is bound to have around the home or office.

Obviously you'll need to go find that ouija board from wherever it's been since you unpacked it several years ago, just go ahead and give that pointer thing to the nearest dog in need of a chew toy, that's right, today everyone is a ouija winner.... finally for once.

Now that you've got your board, youll need to attach your keyboard and touchpad. Assuming you are using mac products like a normal person you are aware that routine maintenance, particularly the act of battery replacement, will necessitate an enduring yet impermanent manner in which to affix the input devices upon the ouija's playing surface. Solutions to this are both various and varied, double sided tape and velcro are viable solutions, however I have found a near perfect solution in those small black rubbery things designed to perfectly route those pesky rouge electrical cables that somehow science has not completely eliminated yet. They are those things you bought at home depot a while back when you were on that minimalist-home-office-organizational kick which lasted just long enough for you to be distracted by anything. The particular brand being used in this demonstration are called "D-Wings" and they probably cost more than they should have but still cheap enough to have forgotten the original price at the time of this writing.

It's quite likely that you have also engaged in similar dilusions of home improvement grandeur and have a bag of these lying around the forgotten wasteland of your common areas as well. Now go find them from wherever it was that you tossed them upon your arrival home that day, and while you're making a mess of the junk drawer snag a pair of scissors because you'll need to trim the "wing" down a bit until it grips the keyboard and trackpad nice and snug like. Make sure to possition the rubber gromet things before you do any sticking in real-time. After you have determined proper location for these items, go ahead and peel the plastic protectoive strip, cause it is go time baby. Make sure to allow for plenty of palm resting room in front of the keyboard. 

This setup can be useful in many ways. As cable television begins to fade away in favor of streaming services and internet based content, remote controls will be replaced as well. Hooking an apple TV, roku, or personal computer up to your television is becoming the norm. Having this updated ouija keyboard could prove useful in such an environment. But it seems that my primary use has been as a secondary setup for those times when Im feeling so full of myself that a 90 degree sitting position in front of the desktop computer is simply not sufficiently addequate to satisfy my desire to treat office furniture as if it were my grandfathers reclining loungechair. Upon refflection it seems as though I have developed this entire improvised makeshift system of electronics and childrens games so that I may spend more time sleeping at my desk.

Im ok with that. 

the guy